coffee and tea

The coffee that is available here is primarily Turkish Coffee and the horrible abomination known as Nescafe--instant "coffee". This was the same when I was in Turkey, which was even more appalling considering the Ottoman Empire introduced coffee to the western world--they weren't able to to conquer Vienna with armies but they conquered it with coffee and cafés and from there coffee culture spread westward and northward (read this story of the first Viennese coffee shop). For Turks to drink instant coffee made by a swiss conglomerate (Nestlé S.A.) is a very bizarre thing, in my opinion.



Americans colonists drank tea like their fellow British citizens and then the British government started changing colonial industrial policy regarding tea, including the Tea Act. This expanded the monopoly power of the British East India Company--the Nestlé of the 18th century--the giant corporation that by the late 1700s directly controlled all of Bengal and nearly the entire eastern coast of India. The act allowed the British East India Company to directly import tea from India to the American Colonies, previously it was smuggled. Americans would be able to get higher quality and legal tea direct from India, but they also would have had to pay the Tea Tax, the only part of the hated Townshend Act that was not repealed by parliament. A bunch of smugglers and other angry colonists were upset in this change in Industrial Policy and threw a bunch of tea in Boston Harbor in 1773. Parliament responded with reprisals (Intolerable Acts) and tensions built until war broke out in 1775. Coffee drinking became a patriotic duty.

There's a Thomas Jefferson quote saying that, it's really quite remarkable that the American Revolution became set in motion all over a three-penny tax on tea. I can't find it, every few months ago I try to search for it. I did, however, find a quote from Frederick Douglas 1852 speech, "The Meaning of July Fourth for the Negro", "You can bare your bosom to the storm of British artillery to throw off a three-penny tax on tea; and yet wring the last hard earned farthing from the grasp of the black laborers of your country." ...not quite the quote I was looking for, but a very interesting speech from 10 years before the Emancipation Proclamation none the less. It would be interesting to know how many opinion-leaders of the current Tea Party movement know the history regarding tea in America.

I also ran across this while I was writing this post: "The Women's Petition Against Coffee". It's from England in 1674 and it's a hilarious satire lamenting that men are spending too much time drinking coffee and ignoring husbandly duties:

Since 'tis Reckon'd amongst the Glories of our Native Country, To be a Paradise for Women: The fame in our Apprehensions can consist in nothing more than the brisk Activity of our men, who in former Ages were justly esteemed the Ablest Performers in Christendome; But to our unspeakable Grief, we find of late a very sensible Decay of that true Old English Vigor; our Gallants being every way so Frenchified, that they are become meer Cock-sparrows, fluttering things that come on Sa sa, with a world of Fury, but are not able to stand to it, and in the very first Charge fall down flat before us...

The Occasion of which Insufferable Disaster, after a furious Enquiry, and Discussion of the Point by the Learned of the Faculty, we can Attribute to nothing more than the Excessive use of that Newfangled, Abominable, Heathenish Liquor called COFFEE...

At these [Coffee] Houses (as at the Springs in Afric) meet all sorts of Animals, whence follows the production of a thousand Monster Opinions and Absurdities; yet for being dangerous to Government, we dare to be their Compurgators, as well knowing them to be too tame and too talkative to make any desperate Politicians: For though they may now and then destroy a Fleet, or kill ten thousand of the French, more than all the Confederates can do, yet this is still in their politick Capacities, for by their personal valour they are scarce fit to be of the Life-guard to a Cherry-tree: and therefore, though they frequently have hot Contests about most Important Subjects; as what colour the Red Sea is of; whether the Great Turk be a Lutheran or a Calvinist (the Great Turk was a name for the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, who was a Sunni Muslim -TSD); who Cain's Father in Law was (Cain was the son of Adam & Eve in the Bible -TSD), &c., yet they never fight about them with any other save our Weapon, the Tongue.

Some of our Sots pretend tippling of this boiled Soot cures them of being Drunk... THe Coffee-house being in truth, only a Pimp to the Tavern, a relishing foop prearative to a fresh debauch: For when people have swill'd themselves with a morning draught of more Ale than a Brewer's horse can carry, hither they come for a pennyworth of Settle-brain... once more they troop to the Sack-shop till they are drunker than before; and then by a retrograde motion, stagger back to Soberize themselves with Coffee; Thus like Tennis Balls between two Rackets, the Fopps our Husbands are bandied to and fro all day between the Coffee-house and Tavern, whilst we poor Souls sit mopeing all alone till Twelve at night, and when at last they come to bed smoakt like a Westphalia Hogs-head we have no more comfort of them, than from a shotten Herring or a dryed Bulrush...

Wherefore the Premises considered, and to the end that our Just Rights may be restored, and all the Antient Priviledges of our Sex preserved inviolable; That our Husbands may give us some other Testimonies of their being Men, besides their Beards and wearing of empty Pantaloons: That they no more run the hazard of being Cuckol'd by Dildo's: But returning to the good old strengthning Liquors of our Forefathers; that Natures Exchequer may once again be replenisht, and a Race of Lusty Hero's begot, able by their Atchievments, to equal the Glories of our Ancesters.

We Humbly Pray, That you our Trusty Patrons would improve your Interest, that henceferth the Drinking COFFEE may on severe penalties be forbidden to all Persons under the Age of Threescore (60 years old -TSD); and that instead thereof, Lusty nappy Beer, Cock-Ale, Cordial Canaries, Restoring Malago's, and Back-recruiting Chocholet be Recommended to General Use, throughout the Utopian Territories.

Here's the mens answer to the womens petition against coffee, vindicating their own Performances, and the Vertues of that Liquor, from the Undeserved Aspersions lately cast upon them by their Scandalous Pamphlet.

So there you have it, coffee. Now I'll write the post I intended to write...